Parents, do you ever have a parenting moment that you wish that never happened? How about one that you wish you could take back or do-over? Can you remember times that your child was disrespectful? Is there a time that you blurted something out without thinking about it? Can you think of a time that you said something to your spouse and it just came out wrong? Yes, yes, yes, and yes for me! Anyone else? How about if I said just by saying one word, you can change the entire situation.
You are probably thinking I’m out of my mind. Surly it’s not that easy. Right? It is! One word can solve every one of these circumstances. Ready for it…the word is…”redo”!
Can I have a redo, or how about trying it again; are typical phrases that I use with my son and my husband. I have been using these phrases since my son was a toddler. Guess what? It works. Redo works with all ages.
Let me give you an example. The other day my son mouthed off. He groaned and said, “I know, you don’t need to tell me.” I asked, “Was that respectful?” He replied, “Yes.” I proceeded to repeat what he originally said with a groan to show how it looked to me. I then said, “let’s try that again, and redo it. That was not in a respectful manner.” How else can you say that? How about “okay mom, I heard you.” Here is the best part. You actually do it and show how it should look like. Act it out, which is role-playing. It works perfectly!
I have been using the technique of role-playing with my son since he was little. When my son was a toddler, he had a speech delay; he also had crazy, disruptive, and aggressive behaviors. I used role-playing to show him positive play, appropriate reactions to situations, and to use it as a teaching moment for social skills.
It helped tremendously. Here is the reason why it works so well. Most children and people are visual learners. You repeat and show how the inappropriate behavior looks, and then you come up with a better situation. Have the child act out the appropriate way. This gives the child the ability to “redo” what they probably didn’t mean in the first place. It’s a great learning experience for all ages.
Now for us adults we can be talking and not realizing we said something the wrong way until we already said it. A lot of times we just continue on with the conversation even though we messed up. Of course you can always make a situation right and redo it. Saying, let me re-say that, or let me back it up, this is what I meant to say. All of these phrases are admitting that you said something incorrectly and that you are going to fix it.
It’s great for marriages too! We tend to get so comfortable with our spouses that we tend to blurt out things that we probably didn’t mean. Saying, I need to redo that can make a huge difference. It can mean the difference between getting in a fight or not. I think it’s a big reason why my husband and I don’t really fight. We both use this technique, and it is okay to remind each other about it. I really can’t say it enough on how much this has helped my family and I hope it can help yours too!
Thanks for reading,