If you ask someone why they want a divorce or why they got a divorce. The answer goes something like this. I am no longer in love with him/her, or I can’t take the disrespect anymore, or he/she cheated on me. These are just some examples. People don’t normally think of them destroying their own marriage. Yes, it takes two people to make a marriage and two people to destroy a marriage. This is our story in how we were destroying our marriage without even knowing it.
I dealt and put up with a lot before getting married. Which is why I almost called off the wedding and why I almost didn’t walk down the aisle. I was already going into my marriage with doubts, hurt feelings, resentment, and I felt like I couldn’t trust my soon to be husband. This is where I was already destroying my marriage. I was starting my marriage with negative feelings.
I would bring up past things. Even though I thought the current situation had to do with the past, it is still not a good idea to bring up things in the past. This is where it was hard for me to drop everything that happened in the past and to start new.
I didn’t respect my husband. It’s hard to respect somebody when they have hurt you over and over again. Respect can be lost but it also can be gained back. This is where I needed to learn to respect him again.
Being inconsiderate of each other’s feelings can really take a toll in a marriage. My husband would go out drinking with his friends and he would stay out late. This left me worried and wondering when he was going to come home.
Bad habits such as drinking too much can really affect a marriage. My husband would drink quite a bit sometimes and it always ended in an argument.
Selfishness was my husband’s weak point and he knows it too. He struggled with learning on how to be selfless. He had to break the habit of doing things on his own and allowing me to be a part of his journey. It was figuring out that we were a team and it wasn’t just a one-man show.
These are just some of the things that were hurting our marriage. It took time, commitment, and wanting to put the work in, in-order for things to change around. I’m sure everyone’s list is different but hopefully this may give you guys areas to work on with your marriage. It’s easy to give up, throw in the towel, and say I tried. It takes a stronger person to stay in the marriage even when it’s bad and say I made it through it all, the bad, the ugly, and the good.
Mr. PBL and I joke around and we say we are just two very stubborn people who don’t like to lose and won’t quit. If that’s what it takes, I wish more people would be that way. God never said it would be easy. Love you all and I hope this helped somebody.
Thanks for reading,